Comedy Gold! The best of the best (of the best?) belongs in here. See the "Comedy Gold!" topic below if you'd like to know how to get your material into here.
Instead of giving some kind of speech on how this place needs rules and why, I'll save you some reading and just say "this place needs some rules", so here they are:
1: If you already know that nobody's going to think your joke/video/whatever isn't funny (especially if you don't even think it's funny), you might want to reconsider posting it. Quality over quantity, always.
2: It's perfectly fine to think a joke is funny and to tell everyone else, but please don't ever make one or two word replies, or make anyone suspect you copy/paste the same one in each topic.
3: Don't be hateful. If you didn't like a joke, you can say that. Something like "well, that wasn't really my thing", or "I didn't really get it/find it to be very funny". However, posting something like "Dude, that really sucked. You should stop posting jokes, because nobody likes them." isn't really proper.
4: Try to avoid/minimize jokes about certain groups of people (try to avoid anti-emo, anti-goth, anti-religion, etc), because these kinds of jokes are rarely funny to people who aren't against all people in these groups. It's fine to have jokes with lines such as "a Jew, a Mexican, and an Australian walked into a bar", but not things like "What's the difference between a jew and a pizza?", etc. Rednecks and blondes are always fair game, though. (no offence )
5: Try to keep racism to an absolute minimum, especially if it isn't funny. If you're unsure, pm the forum moderator or me.
breaking the rules may result in your posts/topics being deleted, and warnings.
The Comedy Gold! subforum is a read-only forum dedicated to the best of the best (of the best?) jokes/videos/pictures/misc content that's posted in our forums.
This is now my third time changing the system, so hopefully this time it will work: everyone now has the ability to rate topics in this forum. You can rate any topic in this forum in the top right corner of the screen. Once a topic has at least 5 ratings and an overall rating of 4.5 or higher (both subject to change), it'll be moved to the Comedy Gold subforum.
I know everyone knows what a 1-5 rating is, but let's try to have only the best material make it into there. A 1 is only appropriate if you absolutely despise the joke, and a 5 if you feel it's one of the best ones you've ever read/seen/whatever.
Maybe I have a weird sense of humor, but this is seriously the funniest thing I've seen in a long time. Not because of what he talks about, but the presentation! I swear the first 1/3rd just gets funnier seeing it again.
A little back round story: Sorc101 is a user on D2jsp that got his account banned. At the time of the banning, he had over 100k of forum gold on this account. There was a bunch of drama and rage on his part. Apparently, he made this video to flaunt his wealth:
The really awesome thing is, this other kid decided to make fun of Sorc101's video, and does a kick-ass job:
I believe there should be a new dueling league, with rules, of course. Here are the rules:
General Rules:
No gold steal. No naked killing. No potions of any kind, particularly mana. No wearing belts, so that one is not as tempted to use potions. No sojs, too expensive imo imo. No socketed items, see above rule. No hacks/mods of any type. Must have classic resolution, no 800 x 600 allowed. All sound settings must be muted, so that you can't hear your oppenent's attacks. Gamma must be at max.
No characters above level 80, I can't get that high, takes too long. Resistances cannot be above 74 each in hell.
Class Specific Rules:
Sorceress: The skills frozen orb, blizzard, teleport, lightning, chain lightning, thunder storm, and fireball are not permitted. These are clearly overpowered.
Necromancer: No curses of any kind are allowed, except for terror and dim vision. The bone skill tree is disallowed. It is frowned upon to use the summoning skill tree.
Barbarian: Whirlwind while wielding a weapon is forbidden. One can use battle orders, but their party must not recieve it. If you want to prebuff bo, dream on.
Paladin: No.
Amazon: An amazon may only use unique items which are easily acquired.
Duel Outline: Duels will consist of first clearing out the monsters in ALL acts. Once this is complete, one team will wait in act 4's Chaos Sanctuary, while the other team starts in blood moor. Once each participant in the duels has said "I am ready, let us begin." seven times, making sure to each go in alphabetical order, they will then begin dueling. The teams must meet up with each other without using waypoints. If any member uses a waypoint, their team is disqualified. Once all of the participants on one team have been slain, a winner will be declared by a third party judge, based on how gm each team is declared to be.
I feel that there are not enough rules, so I would appreciate feedback on some more rules to add.
A little girl was talking to her teacher about whales. The teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because even though it was a very large mammal its throat was very small. The little girl stated that Jonah was swallowed by a whale. Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human; it was physically impossible. The little girl said, "When I get to heaven I will ask Jonah". The teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?" The little girl replied, "Then you ask him".
A Kindergarten teacher was observing her classroom of children while they were drawing. She would occasionally walk around to see each child's work. As she got to one little girl who was working diligently, she asked what the drawing was. The girl replied, "I'm drawing God." The teacher paused and said, "But no one knows what God looks like." Without missing a beat, or looking up from her drawing, the girl replied, "They will in a minute."
A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds. After explaining the commandment to "honour" thy Father and thy Mother, she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" Without missing a beat one little boy (the oldest of a family) answered, "Thou shall not kill."
One day a little girl was sitting and watching her mother do the dishes at the kitchen sink. She suddenly noticed that her mother had several strands of white hair sticking out in contrast on her brunette head. She looked at her mother and inquisitively asked, "Why are some of your hairs white, Mom?" Her mother replied, "Well, every time that you do something wrong and make me cry or unhappy, one of my hairs turns white." The little girl thought about this revelation for a while and then said, "Momma, how come ALL of grandma's hairs are white?"
The children had all been photographed, and the teacher was trying to persuade them each to buy a copy of the group picture. "Just think how nice it will be to look at it when you are all grown up and say, 'There's Jennifer, she's a lawyer,' or 'That's Michael, He's a doctor.' A small voice at the back of the room rang out, "And there's the teacher, she's dead."
A teacher was giving a lesson on the circulation of the blood Trying to make the matter clearer, she said, "Now, class, if I stood on my head, the blood, as you know, would run into it, and I would turn red in the face." "Yes," the class said. "Then why is it that while I am standing upright in the ordinary position the blood doesn't run into my feet?" A little fellow shouted, "Cause your feet ain't empty."
The children were lined up in the cafeteria of a Catholic elementary school for lunch. At the head of the table was a large pile of apples The nun made a note, and posted on the apple tray: "Take only ONE. God is watching." Moving further along the lunch line, at the other end of the table was a large pile of chocolate chip cookies. A child had written a note, "Take all you want. God is watching the apples."
A girl in my class was actually in the background of this video. This guy is fucking hilarious, haha. The guy he's saying "knock-knock" to is her boyfriend.
good old Tommy Cooper, Died of a heart Attack the year I was born, and on stage too, he got a laughing standing ovation!! The crowd thought it was apart of the act. When I die I want there to be laughter and clapping from me granting as much happiness as this man.
Now failblog and their videos seem to be pretty popular but while there are a lot of fail there is actually very little funny. This one however is a rare exception imo, and is such a gem that I couldn't see it and not share it with you guys. Enjoy!
edit: bonus double-feature
I'll give you all my awesome points if you can tell what language this guy's speaking.
Nov 13 2007, 02:42 PM
1 2 3 > »
)
New Replies
Hot Topic (New)
Poll (New)
Poll (No New)
Moved Topic